Packed House — Hospitality consultancy by Colm_Eats

Find out exactly where your money's leaking. In one 10-minute video.

The Profit MOT. Send your numbers, get a personal video back within 48 hours showing you where the money's going and the one thing to fix next. £97.

Get my Profit MOT (£97)

Secure checkout via Stripe

Watch it. If it's not worth £97, I'll refund you.

This is for you if…

  • You're wondering: is it just me, or is this fixable?
  • You're trying different things, but nothing's touching the sides.
  • You don't have time to sit and plan; you're putting out fires.
  • You bounce from idea to idea and never know what to actually focus on.

Here's exactly what you get for £97

  1. 1

    Your numbers, benchmarked.

    Revenue, GP% and labour %, against other independents like you. So you know if you're doing fine or if something's off.

  2. 2

    What you're already getting right.

    The stuff to protect, not just the stuff to fix.

  3. 3

    Where the money's leaking.

    The exact spots draining your profit.

  4. 4

    The one thing to fix next.

    Your single biggest opportunity for the next 3 months.

  5. 5

    A 10-minute video.

    Watch it at midnight, rewatch it, send it to your business partner.

Get my Profit MOT (£97)

Secure checkout via Stripe

Three steps. Two minutes of your time.

1

Pay £97.

Quick and secure via Stripe.

2

Send your numbers.

12 months of accounts (3 months is OK if that's what you have), or invite us into your Xero or QuickBooks. We pull what we need.

3

Get your video in 48 hours.

Colm records you a personal 10-minute walkthrough.

Owners who've had one

"
This is the clearest I've ever been able to see my business. It's like the fog has lifted.
TrishDill Café
"
This is the first time in 5 years we've been able to lift our heads up and think about the direction of the business. And we're much better for it.
RossMillar's Eatery
"
Colm, this is amazing, thank you so much for the insight
Joshcafe owner
"
Colm, I have now had a chance to sit down and listen to your video properly, twice. Thank you so much. It was eye-opening!
Tracycafe owner
"
Thank you so much for this - it's brilliant and just what I need to help me focus and the things to focus on
Sallyrestaurant owner

Why trust us with your numbers?

Colm and Frankie from Packed House

We're Packed House. We work with independent cafés, pubs and restaurants up and down the UK, every day of the week, as their behind-the-scenes commercial team. We've helped owners go from barely breaking even to double-digit net profit. The Profit MOT is the same process our clients pay for, opened up to more owners.

Zero risk

Here's my promise.

Watch your video. If you don't think it was worth £97, just tell me and I'll refund you. No forms. No awkward conversation.

You deal with me directly the whole way; this isn't an automated report, it's me looking at your actual business.

Questions, answered

Is this safe to pay for? I don't know you well.+

Payment is handled by Stripe, the same checkout used by millions of businesses. And you're covered by the refund promise above.

My numbers are a bit messy. Does that matter?+

No. Send what you've got, or invite us into your Xero/QuickBooks and we'll sort the rest.

Will my information stay private?+

Yes. Your numbers are only ever seen by Colm and Frankie, and never shared. After payment you'll receive a Confidentiality Agreement, signed by Colm, so you know your information is safe.

What happens after I watch the video?+

Some owners go and action the one thing themselves. Others decide they'd like us to help out; if so, we'll talk. No pressure either way.

How long does it take?+

Two minutes of your time to send the numbers. Your video's back within 48 hours.

Stop guessing. Start fixing.

I record every Profit MOT myself, so I'm only taking 10 in this first round.

Get my Profit MOT (£97)

Secure checkout via Stripe